Cold Turkey
by ACT II
Summary: The Smashers are addicted to gummy worms so the hands trick them into going on a reality show where they go cold turkey! [contains scenes of randomness and slapstick] R&Rz. FINISHED EL OH EL ARE EYE ZEE
1. 1: ZOMG REALITY TV SHOW!

Even though I got inspired by the show 'Cold Turkey' I've actually never seen the show so HA!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Nintendo, Hal, Pax, McDonalds, Whatever thing the Cookies Monster is from (forgot)and yeah.

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**_C O L D T U R K E Y_**

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It was a freaking hot July afternoon, All over the mansion everyone was doing something different, except the fact that they all were either hiding a stash, holding a jar of, or eating gummy worms. 

Ness opened his jar and pulled out some sugary delights when he realized all of it had melted together, "Treasure, sweet, sweet treasure!" Ness whispered at the mass of goodness.

Everyone came down to get more gummy worms or at least gummy bears when they noticed the world's biggest gummy worm. "GET HIM!" Capt. Falcon screamed. Everyone ran after the kid who screamed and ran off.

Ness jumped out a one-story window and landed in a bush, "ALL MINE!" he shrieked in joy and craziness, then Master Hand yanked it away "WTF?"

"Get out here!" the glove angrily yelled at the Smashers who ran around screaming for anything gummy. They eventually came out,

"Yesh?" the twenty-six all slurred at once,

"I have signed you all up on a cruise to relax!"

They stared.

"It also has an unlimited supply of anything gummy!" The hand added,

"YAYZORZ!" They yelled and rushed off even though they didn't know where to go and knew it.

* * *

Later the cruise went great until the Smashers invaded the kitchen and searched for something that even resembled a worm. 

"This is mine!" Marth complained, tugging on a box of bear-shaped chocolate,

"O RLY, noob?" asked an aggravated Yoshi.

"Attention all Smashers." came Crazy Hand's voice from the intercom, "Please report to the deck."

They did so.

"All I see is boring water." Peach said, annoyed. Then Master Hand blew one big dart that somehow touched all of them, in to the crowd.

* * *

They awoke to find themselves in a weird mansion/beach house. 

"I don't know where we are, but I demand gummies!"Pichu ordered,

"That is why you are all here." Crazy Hand said as he and his brother floated in from the main door revealing that they were on a desert island.

"Why?" Luigi asked dramatically and sexily.

"Well," Crazy began, "You all are friggin' obsessed with gummy bears and worms, mostly worms."

Everyone tried to look proud but failed.

"So you will all be in a reality television show calledCold Turkey!"

"NO!" Kirby cried while on his knees and looking at the ceiling, but realized he doesn't have knees and had a yeast infection. But noticed there was no yeast in sight so this whole line never happened.

"Anyway, all this will be is you acting crazy while annually competing in challenges and being recorded and shown on HBO so it looks more special than the other crud. In fact you are being recorded as we speak."

"KAY!" they all yelled at once, making a random wine glass shatter.

"Now first we have a guest come and tell you his/her addiction story of gummies." Master Hand announced, the two disappeared and the main door opened; there stood ZS Samus who bumped into a low hanging boom mike.

"Hey, get that out of my face!" she yelled, got up and noticed her legs tangled in the wires, she and the mike holder guy tried to get untangled but failed, "AW (CENSORED) (CENSORED) You (LONG CENSORED) piece of (CENSORED) I-"

She tugged on the wires and the screen went to the test screen with the colored bars and beeping noise.

Suddenly the manor came back on as ZS Samus stumbled onto a seat, breaking her clumsy fall, and sat there in the odd position as the nervous Smashers stared,

"Uh, I used to be really fat." She showed a picture that sentSamus to the bathroom holdingher mouth andBowser turninghis head to one side while turning pale, "Now I'm not, and I have great sex appeal!" she signaled the camera off screen for a close up on her breasts and butt with sexy music playing, "All thanks to going cold turkey!"

"Times up!" a guy grabbed the chair and pushed it out the windowand screamed.

"CRABBY TIME!" Roy yelled and smashed the glass table with a small statue of Master Hand, Fox, disguised as a lamp, (just a lamp shade on his head) leapt onto Roy and the two rolled around the floor.

Everyone ran around yelling obscenities in gibberish and pig latten.

Samus threw Jigglypuff at Mewtwo, Young Link tried to grab Kirby while dressed in a Cookie Monster costume.

C. Falcon tried lighting the drapes on fire with Marth's Tiara while the prince himself chased him.

Mario, Zelda, Pikachu, and Donkey Kong ran after the Hamburgaler to get their Happy Meals back "DK wants his cheap toy!" DK said.

It was going to be a fun time.

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PLZ review or I will go L33T on joo! 

Thanks!


	2. 2: I LIKE TACOS!

Disclaimer: (has heart attack and dies)

What's the point? Everyone knows I don't own anything.

I think, I don't know, what's cheese? HELP!

* * *

After the crabby period ended, everyone settled down. Link was making Technic© Throwbots© at a table when Peach walked up "Eww, Throwbots are like so 90's!" 

"That's what's good about them, and they beat Bionicle® any day you noob!" Link proclaimed, as the two argued, behind them outside the window was Pichu covered in toilet paper, running around screaming as rabid clowns chased him.

"90's sucked!"

"That contradicts me _and _the author!"

"O RLY?"

"YA RLY!"

Young Link, still in the Cookie Monster costume, tried lighting the clowns on fire with Marth's tiara as Marth and Falcon chased the boy.

"Kay!" she said and took one of the toys. The two made airplane noises for some reason as they ran through the house playing with them.

The two having fun ran past Mr. Game and Watch and Mewtwo, "That was weirder than Mario's show on ABC." Mewtwo said to the liquid crystal figure.

**

* * *

Flashback**

* * *

Mario stood in front of an audience with a mic, behind him on a curtain said 'What the F--- is up with that!' 

"So I noticed on any crossover fiction that's not centered around Nintendo have me say 'Mama-mia' or 'It's a-me, Mario' at least once! I mean what the F(censored) is up with that?" the crowd cheered because the 'applause' sign told them to.

**

* * *

End Flashback**

* * *

"Yeah what was that crossover thing about anyway?" Game and Watch asked himself. 

"Oh and remember," Roy asked, walking up to them, "That time Crazy Hand built a Braw HQ for an update?"

**

* * *

Flashback**

* * *

"Meet these guys!" the hand screamed in horror for some reason, pointing to the four SSBB fighters. 

"YO!" they said,

"YO!" They others said,

"Now to throw out this old Melee HQ…" the glove held it by the corner, disgusted, and flung it out a window, landing on a fat guy.

He put in it's place an exact, identical HQ except it had 'Braw' in place of 'Melee' on the front of the building.

A laugh track played.

"Where's that coming from?" Ness asked,

The same laugh track repeated.

**

* * *

End Flashback

* * *

**

"It's the Smash Mansion, we didn't say 'yo', and that never happened." informed Mewtwo,

"Yeah, and I didn't even write that flashback." The author said,

"SHUT UP!" Roy yelled and ran off.

The same laugh track played again.

Boring stuff ensued until night fell.

Link and Roy were sprawled in hammocks outside the house staring at the slight glow of the sun behind the horizon. "Mountains, mountains of glorious beans!" Roy cried dramatically "And tiny, tiny little dancing crab cake!"

Sadly, they were so used to eating only gummy worms that they hadn't eaten all day. Even though it had only been half a day.

"Stupid!" Link snapped, "Stop being delusional! Those are Gummy Smashers!"

"JOO NOOB!" Roy cried and threw cheese dip at Link. Then they fought… with breadsticks.

Finally it was pitch-black except for the stars and moon.

"SLUMBER PARTAY!" Marth screamed girlishly,

"YAY!" all the girls and Falcon cried,

"Loserz!" random Sega, Xbox, Playstation, and best of all, Atari all-stars shouted and pointed.

"WTF?" every Smasher said and tried lighting them on fire, chasing them around the house while 'shout' played for comical effect. Since the lights were out everyone all stubbed their toes… at once and screamed, then screamed again in pain for hearing the loud scream. Zelda put a sheet over his head and said boo and everyone ran off screaming. Then cried because they were scared, then had ice cream and felt better, and finally continued chasing.

Then it was ten O'clock.

The twenty-six settled down and laid out their sleeping bags.

Pichu then ran around screaming, but this was normal and nothing happened.

The next morning everyone went to breakfast. "FOOD FIGHT!" Screamed Jigglypuff, she chucked her whole plate at Young Link's head. But missed and nothing happened.

* * *

R&R! (yes, read it again) 


	3. 3: First Pathetic Challenge

It's so annoying that I bearly get any reviews when some noobs who aren't funny get three hundred and a half reviews each chapter! Atleast half or moreof my reviews are fromsome of my favorite authors (Yes the first half is by one I like, then by someone else, ha ha I'm funny.) And i've offically been here a year (since June 2005) not counting my account.

READ: people say joo in this!

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After breakfast Bowser snuck off cartoonishly while snickering.

"Hmm, how suspicious…" Luigi said, rubbing his chin. Sadly he wore his carpet gloves and got carpet burn. The plumber ran around screaming and after a while went in search of Bowser.

Young Link tried to say that he wanted extra helpings but it came out as a 'Yo Momma' joke.

"WTF?" everyone with the exception of Luigi and Bowser said and chased him with hairdryers, peanut butter, and the undying bond of friendship.

Luigi opened a door, pushing the bucket on it on to his head "NOEZ THE PUPPIES, THEY BURN MY FACE!" he screamed as a gallon of puppies poured over him yipping. Bowser laughed and ran past him, "WHY JOO LITTLE-!" the plumber screamed and chased Bowser, then Luigi stared, "When will that plumber go away, we don't need one!"

A laugh tack played,

Bowser lit him on fire and the guy ran around screaming.

Everyone else ran into the living room chasing Young Link when the ranting, yelling, and cheese was stopped by Master Hand who appeared out of thin air, sadly he misjudged and appeared halfway inside a wall and died, Crazy Hand appeared next to him and said, "Hello addicted freaks! You will meet another person who got over his/her addiction, then participate in a challenge."

Pit walked in and sat in the chair. To everyone's horror/amusement the fiery plumber caught Pit on fire and the two ran around screaming until Pit got bored and quit acting to become his life dream; stylish toilet designer!

"YAY! Stylish toilet designer!" Pit cried.

"I'll buy one just for you!" Peach said dramatically/romantically/sarcastically/satanic-istsically.

"O RLY, noob?" Pit, who will now be called Banana from now on, said.

"I like underwear!" Roy cried while throwing sand at people and prancing circles.

Banana was very offended by this and ran onto the beach crying where a crab tried eating his face off.

"OK!" screamed Crazy Hand, bringing Master Hand back to life with the Magical Happy Muffin®, "On to the challenge!"

The Smashers all disappeared by magical and very cheap reasons.

They appeared in a giant cardboard box with lights illuminating it. All of a sudden a bunch of bananas ran in including Banana who just sat there as a banana tried jumping him.

But they were just bananas.

So nothing happened.

Everyone ate them, except for Banana who wanted to start his career already.

They warped back.

"NUTZ!1" Crazy said, annoyed, "NEXT TIME JOO WON'T GET OFF SO EASILY!" the glove cackled nicely and smashed through a window, bloody and twitching.

"I don't want to be called Banana anymore!" Banana screamed angrily.

"OK Pineapple." Ganondorf said,

"WHY JOO LITTLE-!" Pineapple yelled and chased Ganondorf while wild banjo music played.

Zelda flung soft-served ice cream at Fox who got smacked in the face.

Of course this started your typical school lunchtime…

"Knitting rave!" Nana screamed.

In the middle of the rave Pineapple yelled so they cloud hear, "I don't want to be called a frigging fruit!"

"How about Tampon?" Roy said while doing an extreme knit spiral but biffed. Tampon chased Roy with an elephant gun.

"YAY I'M NOT MADE FUN OF!" Falcon cried… before Yoshi threw him into a Tutu-O-matic-putter-oner-thinger-omg-wtf-bbq™.

* * *

I have nothing against Pit, I actually want ot play him the most.

Oh and I suggest you buy a tutu machine like the one inthis chapter; Itmakes a tutu designed just for your body made around your body! In Barbie hot pink or Gothic horror black.

(1-800) WTF-N00B

Now Review!


	4. 4: Second Not So Pathetic Challenge

I bet I know why people don't review me too much is because their sick freaks that know better and are not mind controlled- Oops, you didn't hear anything… BYE! (Throws flash bomb to disappear but it's a normal bomb and ACT II blows up)

* * *

After the rave, Falcon tried ripping off the tutu that was over his spandex. 

"Guys!" Link yelled while standing on a chair, "I have an announcement! Last chapter was **_666_** words long!"

"NOEZ!" everyone cried, except for DK who said 'NOES!'

"We must exorcize this place!" declared Mewtwo.

"I have another announcement!" Link yelled, "Also last chapter Peach said the word satanic-istsically! Now we know this isn't a coincidence!"

Samus and Mario ran around the house randomly throwing garlic on stuff and spreading cottage cheese that was blessed by a priest on the walls and ceiling.

Marth and Fox hung 'Passion of The Christ' DVDs on the walls like pictures as Pichu ran around screaming, but this was normal and nothing happened.

"Pichu! Do something useful!" Fox said,

Tampon brought fifty exorcists to the mansion.

"Shampoo! Do something useful!" Fox said, escorting the exorcists out.

"I thought I was 'Tampon' AND I WANT TO BE CALLED PIT!" Shampoo asked angrily.

"That aught to do it!" Pikachu said, admiring his work,

"WTF ARE YOU DOING!" Link screamed, pushing the desk of demonic knick-knacks and voodoo out of a window.

"Hey!" Falco piped up,

"Pipe down!" Zelda yelled from across the room,

"Peach said that word! It's her fault!" the falcon yelled, everyone chased Peach through the house with pitchforks and torches.

Peach, knowing their weakness, threw wonder bread at them.

"OK! OK! Now that the house is safe, LET'S WATCH TV!" screamed Kirby.

"YAY!1" they screamed and ran down the stairs into the living room.

They then watched HBO.

"ZOMG IT'S US!" Jigglypuff screamed in horror, everyone ran over to the front door when it burst open to reveal…

"NNUUUUUUUEEEESSS!" Pikachu cried and tried committing suicide with some underpants, but failed.

"HI!" screamed Ash to everyone's shock, "I'M YOUR NEXT PERSON WHO SAYS THEY GOT OVER SOMETHING!"

Shampoo shot him with a rocket launcher.

"HA I SAVED YOUR LIVES FROM ETERNAL AND INTERNAL DOOM! NOW CHANGE MY NAME!" Shampoo yelled, but because of all the yelling the Smashers were momentarily def.

Then a cow came in and mugged Dr. Mario of his head and ran off.

Suddenly Master Hand blew the doors away with a hand BB-gun and flew in "Next challenge will be challenging!"

He waited for them to laugh.

They stared.

Then they all said "LOL!" monotonously. Just the abbreviation… and read it like a word.

"Anyway, You have to track down that cow to win the doc's friggin' head!" the hand that was apparently masterful informed.

"HELLZ YEAH!1" Dr. Mario yelled, but no one heard him because his head was far away.

Far away the cow meowed in horror at the sentence the head/loot said and got 'Geek Stink Breath' stuck in his mind, lodged cleverly and tightly in his cortex "MOOOOOO?" befuddled the cow, which then died.

After a moment of silence a bunch of nine-year olds came up and poked it with sticks "WHY JOO LITTLE-" Dr. Mario's head yelled and taught them a Christian-approved, clean virtue fit for PBS.

The kids got bored and ran off.

"Kids these days," the head said. Then a box inched up to him, "WTF?" Snake looked out, screamed when he saw the head, and ran off. Then got hit by a semi. This was all very confusing to anyone in/reading the story as they were on an island and could not escape.

The Smashers strolled down the street whistling when they came upon a cow.

"OMG COW!" Peach said,

"OMG OTHER COW!" Link said,

"OMG DEAD COW!" Falco said,

"YAY COWS!" Kirby said,

"OMG HEAD!" Yoshi said. This wasn't Dr. Mario's head so they moved on.

They stopped at an ice cream shop.

"I'll have some toilet flavored ice cream please." Wario asked,

"Any toppings?" the freak at the counter asked,

"Oh I guess heads."

"HEY! LET'S LOOK THERE!" Link screamed to everyone else, even though he was a few inches away.

Pikachu payed the freak two hundred chocolate coins in foil rappers and took the bucket of topping headsout, "Found it!" He said and held Dr. Mario's head.

Everyone took their bubble gum and put it on the doctor's neck, then stuck his head on it. Master Hand appeared and said, "Yay! U one! Now lets goa!" he waited for them to notice the misspelled words and crap, but they can't see what he said and just stared. He, along with them, disappeared.

Back at thehouse the Smashers had another crabby period.

* * *

Seriously the last chapter was 666 words long and coincedentally Peach said 'satanic'.

Well I guess I'm just a little less reveiwed than an averageperson on this site and I haven't been writing stories for even a year... But since this fic I've been trying to thinkof a story that could be a slight hit.

Oh yeah, and if you have an idea for Smashy Games, tell me. Doubt I'll get any though.

Oh wellz, review, my mind controlled minion- SHUT UP! (runs of crying and gets run over by a semi)


	5. 5: WTF Horror Isn't Written In This Once

Why I made fun of Pit was because everyone is obsessing about him and I wanted to be the first to make fun of him... I think I am anyway.

This chapter is a crappy crossover of Smashiness/Pokemon/Soda/Lego/other stuff.

* * *

During this crabby period, (noted as the last sentence in chapter four) Roy duct taped celery to Ganondorf's face, Pikachu scotch taped his butt to C. Flalcon's forehead,Zeldathrew Link's Legos out of a window, and Shampoo wrote his real name in crayon and glued it to Bowser's shell "I STILL PWN YOU ALL!" he cried triumphantly as he flew out a window. Pichu scarfed down the couch and Peach spray painted her hair clear. 

Suddenly the door flew open and Meta Knight walked in, "ZOMG, what now?" Peach asked dramatically at all the dramatic stuff happening.

He shrugged and stole Kirby's Fruit Loops, "HOW DARE YOU!" Kirby gasped, "THIS ISYOUR WORST DOING YET FIEND!"

"O YA?" Meta Knight asked,

"YA!" Kirby replied,

"O RLY?"

"YA RLY!"

"Can't we just say 'really', 'oh', and 'yeah' normally?" Ness yelled,

"No, noob…" Fox said, then the dead cows became zombies and shuffled in.

"NOEZ!" everyone shouted,

Master Hand blew them up with his Bullet Bill finger move,

"YAYZ!" everyone shouted,

"Now another challenge." announced the hand,

"NOEZ!" everyone shouted,

"Psych!" Master Hand said,

"YAYZ!" everyone shouted,

"TALK INDIVIDUALLY!" the glove ordered,

"NOEZ!" everyone shouted,

"What, but, why you little-!" Master Hand yelled and chased the Smashers who moved as one unit.

After the chase, Master Hand put aside hisbloody whiskand said, "Before you interrupted me, I was going to tell you that another boring person will tell you about his/her story and crud."

"What? Really? Not again… Aw man… Where did that start were people said 'man' in a sentence like this? Hmm… weird… I'm hungry," all the Smashers said at once.

"WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT TALKING AT THE SAME TIME?" Master Hand cried and chased them with a lawnmower covered in yogurt.

After that chase, they ended up in the living room where the first chase began.

The door opened and in came May riding on Turbo, the teal car-like Throwbot/Slizer®.

"YAY!" Link said and clapped, then his hands fell off "AH!" he took some gum from Dr. Mario's neck and attached his hands back on, Dr. Mario's head fell off, "AH!" he did some handy work out of site and stood up, revealing to everyone that his left arm had Dr. Mario's body and his right arm had Crazy Hand, Link then hid his arms behind him and pushed his severed hands and Dr. Mario's head under a table.

"…Ok… How did he do that with out his hands? Anyway, I used to be anorexic, but I got hooked on Gummy worms when one accidentally fell into my mouth, now I don't worry about my body and keep in perfect shape!" May told them,

"WTF? That was positive about Gummies!" Captain Falcon said,

"O RLY?" Ness got mad at her saying 'O RLY'"I meant that was my cousin! Yeah! I once got mugged by a bag of Gummy bears, that's _my_ story!" May said,

"That wasn't very funny…" Mario said,

"O YA? Than what's this!" May exclaimed.

Nothing happened.

Turbo threw his disk, which hit Marth in the forehead, knocking him senseless. Zelda pushed May out a conveniently placed window where she landed on Link's Legos. Turbo ran over Ganondorf who was advertising for Pepsi by drinking a can, Y. Link drank Coca-Cola and advertised it, Donkey Kong stole it and crushed it on his head, knocking him senseless and landing by Marth. Peach spray-painted Turbo with her clear paint, making him look invisible-ish.

"Ha! Now we can't see him!" Peach said, admiring her wittiness, "Oh wait…"

"Don't you mean: O WAITZERZ!1!1!5!" Ness sighed,

"Yes, You get a free spray!" Peach sprayed Ness invisible who screamed,

"Hey! Peach can spray us and Turbo won't be able to see us!" Fox suggested, Peach did so, wiped off the clear paint from Turbo, and sprayed herself.

Turbo heard people snickering and feet running along the floor, then running into each other and screams of pain.

Samus shot Turbo with Pit's forgotten elephant gun.

He blew up.

Link made a weird junky thing out of Turbo's pieces and called it the 'Super Mega Ultra Hyper 360 Wii PS3 Dream Cast Lawlz!1!3$#11!' and sent it to retrieve Roy.

"AH!" Roy screamed as he ran from the robot.

Jigglypuff watched some celebrity show that was sad if you're that obsessed about some famous people and saw that PVM and the endless Survivor shows were more popular than her show 'Jigglypuff Roasts People'

"WHY JOO LITTLE-!" She picked up the TV and held it over her head, tried to throw it out the window, but got crushed.

"WHEEEE!" May said while trying to whip Master Hand with a spiked whip.

Bowser grabbed Link's invention and bashed May unconscious, Master Hand took out his whisk and fought Bowser off.

Kirby and Yoshi stole every third sock from their own drawers while Pichu ran around screaming, but this was normal and nothing happened.

* * *

Review. 


	6. 6: Apples Lawl :p

W00t apples.

* * *

Everyone was sprawled across the living room. 

An apple was sitting next to the TV. Butthis had nothing to do with anything.

Suddenly Zelda got up "I have a special treat for you all… FREE HAIR CUTS!"

"YAY!" everyone said, getting up.

"YAY!" Zelda said, after a moment of silence, "YAY!"

She cut everyone's hair, even May who was still unconscious when she cut her hair.

"Ok, here's a mirror!" Zelda said, rolling in a big mirror/apple.

"OMG!1" everyone cried, they all had Marth's head for their heads.

"I WANT TO BE BACK TO NORMAL!" Marth cried,

Everyone pulled out one big chainsaw and chased the princess around the house.

Zelda threw Wonder Bread at them to subdue the lynch mob whatever and used the Magical Happy Muffin® to turn their heads back to normal.

"When did you get that from me young lady?" Master Hand asked Zelda,

"I pick pocketed you..?" Zelda admitted shyly,

"Thank you for admitting shyly the truth, you are grounded for four apples!" Master Hand announced,

"Huh?" Zelda asked.

Four apples later…

"I'm free!" Zelda said, getting out of her room.

"Or are you?"Yoshi said,Bowser did a crappy version of the Twilight Zone theme song but didn't capture the true essence of the music and cried.

Pichu stole May's right arm and ran off, she held in her anger and attached a sculpture of an arm made entirely out of cheese to her shoulder stump and walked proudly in circles.

Peach took her cheese arm and force-fed herself while performing an artsy one-woman show.

May then just glued her stump to Dr. Mario's foot, "Now we're Siamese twins!"

"NOOOOOOOOOO WHY ME?" Fox cried instead of Link for no reason,the trainer and hero poked each other with sticks, force fed each other orange juice, went to college and everything happened like some weird college movie while staying there and got called freaks and went EMO, then got stuck in a double date. Finally they came back here in a tear-jerking reunion. This all happened in three apples.

"WTF apples again?" Ness asked,

"ANYWAY…" Master Hand said, "Before I was interrupted by the freaks/apples I was going to say that another challenge will be happening."

He snapped his fingers and Pit appeared "Nuts!" cursed the angel,

"YOU SAID A BAD WORD!" Falcon said, pointing at him.

"Pit will also be here to participate with you." The glove said,

"NUTZ!" Pit obscenit-ied, easy on the language!

Master Hand used a magical apple to teleport them to their destination.

"Why not use the muffin this time?" Yoshi asked,

"So I could eat it!" the glove said while making weird farting noises.

May and Link ate a salad together romantically,

"NOES." Zelda said angrily, "I want my Linky-poo………p." Marth wasn't listening however as he was dancing to the Black Eyed Peas on his Ipod.

"Yeah, crappy couples are like SO important and serious!"Pichu stated,

They finally realized that they were on a weird parking lot like thing floating out in the ocean.

Suddenly Crazy Hand ripped free from Link's right arm who attached his normal hand, "OK! What you will have to do this time is… eat this giant apple!"

A giant apple appeared out of nowhere.

Kirby sucked it up, however this was so big that he was stretched around it, taking the shape of a giant apple "YAY!1" squealed Kirby.

Suddenly a giant gummy eel grabbed Peach in its mouth and swam to the bottom of the tropical sea.

"Ok, let's teleport back to the house already!" Jigglypuff said, no one thinking what just happened one second ago was any big deal.

"Not just yet! You have to rescue Peach with this submarine!" Crazy Hand pointed to a yellow sub with bubble windows all around. Roy remembered the Yellow Submarine song and got it stuck in his head, he rolled around the ground screaming, everyone ran in, Game And Watch dragging Roy in by the foot.

Zelda got tired of Roy screaming and lodged Pit in his mouth. Roy accidentallyswollowed Pit and was satisfied.

Peach could somehow breathe and talk under water and took a bite out of the gummy worm.

Back at the parking lot thing, the hands were watching everything from a monitor, "Why did you have a giant gummy eel for this challenge? They'll just eat it and it will just be harder for them to break the habit," asked Master Hand.

"But this way they'll have to fight the thing they love to eat!" Crazy replied,

"NO WAI!1" Master Hand said girlishly,

"YA WAI!1" Crazy Hand said girlishly,

Back with Peach, she took another big bite, the eel then stopped at an underwater lighthouse. It opened the front door and pushed her in.

Some how the place was watertight, the walls and floor were dark blue murals of watery stuff, She ran in circles screaming until a talking apple approached her, she ran away from the talking apple up the stairs.

Back in the sub, Fox, who was controlling the thing, shot apples at the yummy beast through the cannons in front.

"WTF apples again?" Ness asked, who was only good for saying a bad word abbreviation and apples.

The gummy eel wrapped around the sub, causing it to roll and sink even though that wouldn't happen but is cool so ha!

Roy got sick from rolling around and threw up Pit, "I'm free!"

"JOO SAID A BAD WORD!" Falcon said and pointed,

"NU UH!" stated Pit,

"0M6 L33T!1" Samus stated,

"I BET PEACH'S THERE!" Mario stated, pointing to the lighthouse,

"O RLY?" Luigi stated,

"Yes." Mario stated,

"NUUUEEE! JOO DIDN'T L33T OR MISSPELL ON PERPUS!" Luigi stated,

"I don't want to!" Mario stated,

"NUUEEE!" Luigi stated,

"STOP STATING!" screamed Yoshi in horror, getting constipated from all the stating.

"EWWWWZ!" Zelda said,

Some cracks appeared as the eel squeezed tighter, water sprayed in, then the eel zapped the sub, but ended up electrocuting itself sinking to the bottom of the sea, "I WANTED TO EAT IT!" Nana said,

Popo didn't find this funny enough and sentenced her to life in prison.

"YAY!" Nana cried in joy, "Now I will actually go around with you more!"

The submarine collided with the top of the lighthouse and got lodged in, Peach, who just reached the top, opened the door and got in.

Suddenly the talking apple smashed through the front window, Bowser tried to eat it but missed. Link and May, conjoined by Dr. Mario, did a triple summersault, this did nothing so they just shot at it with machine guns until it was no more. Then Master Hand brought them back to the mansion/house with his apple.

"WHEE APPLES! ONCE A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY!" Master Hand screamed,

"Pine**apples**!" Crazy Hand said,

The Smashers just stared blankly.

Apples.

* * *

I feel bad for Roy. But that's what's fanfiction's for am I right? No? STFU! 

Poor Link, May, and Dr. Mario too... Freaks/apples/stated

EAT APPLES!1


	7. 7: The NonHalloween Halloween Special!

Claimer: I own everything.

* * *

That night everyone was calm and sane and quiet.

On opposite day.

So it still went around to calm sanity.

"Ooh a duck!" Mario said, eating it.

"NOOOO!" Jigglypuff screamed, "NOW THE RANDOM STUFF WILL ONCE AGAIN REACTIVATE!"

There was a rumbling and a flood of ducks poured in from the front door, "AH!" all the Smashers but Jiggs yelped at once and ran off.

Link, Dr. Mario, and May ran in different directions, ripping apart and strawberry syrup gushed from their stumps; they then attached their hand/arm/heads

Kirby ate Falcon and copied his ability, Yoshi's head decapitated and grew small hands and feet like Kirby and ran off, Jigglypuff sat on Yoshi's body's neck and the two chased the head.

Marth and Roy turned into cats, who tried catching Pikachu and Pichu.

Samus chased Luigi and Zelda riding the O Ya Yak and blasting folk music from a stereo.

Nana and Bowser did the tango as the hands recorded more folk music of their own. Fox and Falco unleashed a magical dragon on Pit, May, and Daisy (who just appeared right on the spot).

Yoshi's head ate some ducks, which just fell out of his neck. Marth, a dark blue cat with the same hair and head piece as his normal self said to Roy, who was a bright red cat with the same hair and head piece as his normal self, "Woof."

"O RLY?" Roy replied,

Peach then appeared with a pink witch hat and white wand, "MOOOOO?" she stated for some reason, "Anyway YAY CHAOS1!"

"She must be the one causing the random crap to happen throughout this story!" Ganondorf said anime style.

"Nope, just this chapter!" Peach replied, making a clear colored lamb to appear next to her.

"Stop her!" Link cried; a chicken strapped to his head.

Mewtwo teleported over to her, Young Link strapped to his head.

"NOEZ!" Peach cried,

Mewtwo tripped even though he floats,

"YAYZ!" Peach cried,

She put on pink inline skates and flew off to the depths of the house.

"Let's go gang!" Link said not-so anime style; except for the anime sweat drops that appeared on everyone else. Ness had a _manga _sweat drop 'cause he was a rebel.

Anyway they drove the Mystery Machine©, yes, in the house, farther into the dark mansion.

Dr. Mario was square dancing with Link and May because Marth and Roy were the next weirdos/freaks/comedy reliefs (?) and not them, Pichu said "PIIICHUUU!" really loud and high making the three's head's pop.

May's head never came back as blood gushed from the neck, unlike Link and Dr. Mario who stared.

"How are we all fitting in this van with plenty of space remaining?" Fox asked,

"STFU You're the Scooby Doo now!" Zelda said,

"We agreed it was going to be Mr. Game and Watch!" Fox cried.

It began to rain inside the house as the headlights flashed over the pitch-black rooms.

Zelda turned on the windshield wipers, Roy watched the wipers, then attempted an amusing stunt at trying to catch them, Y. Link taped it on his home video camera and sent it in to AFV.

Then all of the ducks swarmed around the van, latching on, Zelda swerved around for affect, trying to see through the rain and ducks.

"Less than one percent is visible under the ducks tightly stuck to this van all over." Pit announced like the nerd he was.

"Ooh! Ooh! I want to be a ballerina!" Marth said, using Bowser'sface as a scratching post.

"Can I be a block of cheese, maybe a cheerio?" asked Pikachu,

"You can be anything you want to be!" Zelda said, standing in front of them and acting all teacher-ish, "Wait, if I'm here, and you are over there, and your over there, and your over there, and your over there, and your over there-"

"We get it!" everyone else said.

A laugh track played and the Smashers waited for it to stop so they could 'act'.

"… Drive someone!" no one said, that annoying no one…

The van rolled down the huge and long basement stairs, which were big blue stone bricks.

Some 60's or 70's music played as the Smashers ran around screaming and doing funny stuff for the next ten minutes.

At the bottom everyone got out, Mario took out a flashlight; the basement was blue brick stone and big wooden beams, covered in cobwebs. It was a bunch of rooms, which probably, added up, were bigger then the house on top. Pit flicked on a typical plastic light switch and all the hanging light bulbs turned on, each randomly colored red, green, yellow, or blue.

"SKAREE!1" proclaimed Kirby.

"Yep!" Mewtwo said.

A staring in silence track played.

Anyway, deep in the basement, the Smashers were now in a very dusty dinning hall.

"Hey, Fox, go check out that dark corner with the bloody zombie." Samus asked,

"No!" Fox said sternly, crossing his arms.

"Oh really?"

"Yes,"

"NUUUEEE!1!1!1!1!1!" Luigi's cry was heard in the back row. (See last chapter)

Yoshi ate Samus's Scooby Snax before she could pull it out, also eating May's cropsein the process.

Yoshi realized what this meant.

"AWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWA!"

He cautiously crept over to the corner, the zombie ripped apart to reveal Peach; She dragged him screaming away out the door opposite to them.

"I heard a noise, I'll go investigate." Mario said.

He walked off, "Hello? Is somebody there?" after he was out of sight of the Smashers, a blood-curdling scream sounded.

"Let's split up." Suggested Falco, Everyone ran in different directions… even if a brick wall was in their way.

"I'll be right back." Ganondorf said, even though he was by himself.

He was never seen again.

Jigglypuff was jogging through a maze of equally set apart wood pillars with not enough light to show any further than a few meters. Suddenly she heard skates rolling. Stopping in her tracks, she turned to see Peach grab her while cackling evilly.

It happened to everyone else, except a few.

Yoshi, Captain Falcon, Game and Watch, and Ness, everyone's favorite over used characters ran around in circles screaming because they were the soul survivors.

Marth and Roy came up to them "We know how to defeat Peach-" Marth was cut off as Falcon inhaled the two cats/humans and said "Yoshi ish Yosh!" Yoshi had an identity crisis and his head popped.

Falcon ran into Game and Watch, chopping in half, Peach snatched up the 2D… thing and cackled evilly while gliding away on her skates… right into a brick wall.

Ness ran screaming out of the basement and up the stairs, then into the living room where the ducks tried feasting on him, He shot them all with a sawed-off shotgun and died from the horror of it all.

Peach, with her last breaths, said "I'll make sure this never happened…" she lifted her wand to flick.

Then died.

But she flicked right before she died.

Psych.

Daisy walked up "Ooh how yummy!" she said and ate Peach's hat.

But this made the magical magicwarp time.

So it was calm and sane in the living room

"Ooh a duck!" Mario said, eating it.

"NOOOO!" Jigglypuff screamed, "NOW THE RANDOM STUFF WILL ONCE AGAIN REACTIVATE!"

But this time the ducks that poured in had cookies for heads.

"How pretty!" Daisy exclaimed and flicked the wand, turning everything back to normal.

* * *

Woo. Revoow.


	8. 8: NNNNNNUUUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEZZZZZZ prt 1

Last chapter was st00pid, but the second last chapter was the b3st.

I'm thinking about making an INFOmercial fic.

NUUUUUUEEEEESSSS!

Read the story already!

Why are you still reading this?

Oh yeah, I'm righting more stuff for you to read.

EL OH EL.

OH EL OH.

**_Disclaimer:_** stated Peach.

----------

It was a sunny day and everything was happy, but then it started raining and a tiny hurricane stormed over the island, the house in the eye of the storm.

"NOES." Stated Peach.

Link and May were playing tennis in the indoor tennis court, suddenly May shouted, "You have a pointy hat!"

"WHY JOO LITTLE-" Link yelled, as the ball flew at him he dropped the racket and unsheathed his sword, jumping into the air, Link (this will look dumb when SSB: B comes out) did his super slash Triforce thingy he does to Mario in the SSB 3 trailer.

The burning ball shot back and hit May, who was laughing at his tights, chopping her head clean off.

"Wups…" Link said, rubbing the back of his head with an anime sweat drop, Daisy, who saw this, anime fell, cracking her head on the floor and dying. What a mess that made, because she was holding an open can of paint at the time.

"NUUEEEESSSS DEFF!1" Link said in horror/general/apple/stated.

Link ran into the living room where everyone always was, "XOMG DEATH IZ AFTAR UZ!1"

"Oh OK," Ness said.

Crazy Hand watched from the monitors, "Yes, this will be the season finale!" he laughed evilly as he let loose a horrible evil.

As the Smashers watched television, the wall next to them exploded, and in walked a giant Yoshi with the head of Godzilla, "**ROOOAAAAARRDHXOMFGDJBVROARHVHBFBBQRAORVHJHVROFLFFHLOLFDJGHNB**Fargus." It said and tried eating their faces off.

Peach got her face eaten on and had four faces instead of her normal three.

Mewtwo psychically imploded it.

"Nuts…" Crazy Hand said, tried opening a box of ACT II popcorn, and ended up popping.

"Nuts…" Marth said, eating some nuts, while Pichu feasted savagely on the chunks of meat.

Suddenly a hunk of meat tried jacking Pichu and the whole fiasco ended with the two being married.

"SHSHOUNGNOUGHEIN!11!11!" raved Jigglypuff, popping Pichu, the hunk of meat, Marth, Fox, and Yoshi.

"NOES." Peach stated taking out a slushy machine that tried eating the three faces off of her face.

"SEVEN PEOPLEZ DIED IN THE LAST FIVE MINUTES!1" Mario said in horror.

"I know!" Peach stated, holding up a fist… that she had ripped off of some poor pedestrian.

"What?" Dr. Mario asked, cringing in disgust at the hand.

"Well," Peach stated, "Let's all have a big battle in the only arena in this place!"

"How did you know this?" Falco asked,

"Um… I'm not a robot from Master Hand." She stated and malfunctioned, falling apart.

"What did I miss?" Peach stated, walking into the room,

"Nothing, let's go to the only arena in this house!" Kirby said as they wandered around the house until they found a huge portal in Samus's room that no one noticed until now.

Inside was a vast ocean of milk with random sized chocolate chip cookies floating in it.

"LAWL CHIPZ AHOY." Bowser said,

They were on a pirate ship with random Shyguys running around which Pikachu ate.

"YARZORZ." Peach stated, turning the steering wheel thingy around.

"XOMG!" Ness yelled as he pointed at the huge pod of megaladons coming their way.

They ran back and fourth screaming.

"O YA?" Peach stated, turning the ship out of the way.

Pit flew up into the air and shot a trillion rainbow light arrows of goodness and powerfulness awesomeness and WTF at the prehistoric sharks.

They died.

Young Link stole some of the arrows 'cause they're cool and stuff.

"Now what?" stated Peach.

Falco shrugged, his arms falling off as ice tea flowed out.

Marth and Roy were sword fighting, Roy tried to loose but won miserably "NOES!" he said,

"LOL THREE PARTER."Bowser said in humor/romance/apples/Peach stated/WTF/BBQ/OMG/Deipnophobia.

----------

I dare you to figure out what phobia that is! (It's a real one)

LOL RESIDENT EVIL 2; IT'S SCARY! (get's head ripped off and brains eaten)

Review?


	9. 9: NNNNNNUUUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEZZZZZZ Prt 2

First I just want to say that this isn't script format:

Fox: NUES!

This is:

FOX

NUES!

I lub annoying people by doing these kind of things.

PEACH(stated)

That wasn't very funnerz.

ACT 2

O RLY?

I was so bored I uploaded this sooner than planned. Who carez though?

----------

Peach stated some more.

Since I always forget about Young Link and Donkey Kong they fell onto an uncharted cookie island where horrible tricorns ate them.

"VIDEOGAME RACISIM WHATEVER STUFF!1" the fans of those two said.

"ZOMG WAIT!" Link screamed, pointing at Marth.

"BOO I IS A GHOZT1!" he said, even though he was a zombie.

_**ENTER SURVIVAL-HORROR**_

Captain Falcon shot him with a shotgun.

Marth died.

"JIGGLYPUFF SECRETLY TURNED THEM INTO XOMBIES WITH HER POPPING POWER!1" Peach stated.

Pichu, Fox, and Yoshi conveniently appeared by Jigglypuff, they ate her brains, then tried eating Ganondorf's.

They ripped off his leg and ate everything else.

Zelda used some Aid-Spray on his leg.

Nothing happened.

Roy, with twin rocket launchers in his arms, ran screaming girlishly at the three zombies. But he was just carrying them and was eaten.

Ness used a crossbow on them.

They died.

He was then attacked by a Licker.

Bowser lit it on fire.

Daisy and May limped towards the Ice Climbers drooling and moaning with their mouths wide open.

Pikachu was out of ammo, so he used his survival knife, failed miserably, and was eaten.

Mewtwo blew them up with a grenade launcher and it rained limbs.

"Stupid limb storm!" Link whined as he pulled off an arm from his shoulder, sadly this was his arm and he ran around screaming as clear dyed tap water poured out of his stump.

He then built a cool robot gun-for-hand arm that was really cool and stuff.

_**EXIT SURVIVAL-HORROR**_

"Well that was fun!" Peach stated happily.

Suddenly a zombie Phargus climbed out of the water and ate the Ice Climbers.

"HA NOW WITH OUT POPO YOU CAN'T CONTINUE TO RIP OFF 'RUN, MARTH, RUN!' WITH THAT RIP OFF!" Luigi said with an anime mouth that looks weird.

"O YA?" he moaned in all his zombie-horror and stepped on Peach, who stated her way out from under his foot.

"ONLY I, MARIO, LUIGI, DR. MARIO, KIRBY, MEWTWO, BOWSER, ZELDA, LINK, FALCO, PEACH, NESS, SAMUS, CAPTAIN FALCON, AND MR. GAME AND WATCH REMAIN." Pit said like the nerd he wasn't.

Phargus stepped on one of Link's arrows lying around and popped, flying around the boat, propelled by the wind escaping from his puncture.

"For once Link's laziness worked out for the better!" Dr. Mario said and everyone laughed and crap.

"NUUEEEESSS CLICHÉ!" Luigi yelled and rolled around in the fetal position, rolling over board and dying.

Peach stated some more and did some cool 90's fads and other 90's stuff while watching some music.

" GTFO THIS FORUM PEACH!" Dr. Phil said. (Lol inside joke… or is it outside?)

Captain Falcon then shot him with his shotgun.

Peach did some more 90's stuff.

"Ok that's enough!" Mr. Game and Watch said, for the first time in this story, ever.

Peach stated some 90's slang.

Ness got tired of this and went 10's.

"STUPID 10'S!" Peach stated, all 90's.

"EVERYBODY JUST STFU!" Falco said for no reason in horror/stated/Peach stated some more/apples/all 90's/humor/action/adventure/phobophobia.

"NEVARZ!" Link said and shot his gun, though it was a foam dart gun, though Falco died anyway.

"ST00PID NURD." Stated Peach, using Mr. Game and Watch as a potato chip.

He died.

"LAND!" Mewtwo screamed in horror as he pointed to a jungle-y island.

"YAY!" they screamed and crashed their ship at the beach.

Getting onto the beach, a massive flock of giant Ramen packs came their way. They ran the other way.

Mario tripped and was eaten.

"NOEZ!" Link said, shooting at the packs of horror.

They ran up a hill, running off the crevasse, they screamed, smashed into the organic walls, the packs broke to pieces, hitting the walls.

Pit, Link, Kirby, Zelda, Samus, Mewtwo, Captain Falcon, Ness, Peach, and Dr. Mario slapped onto the beach at the bottom as uncooked noodles rained on them.

"Lawlz." Captain Falcon said, eating them, but they were rabid and he went on a mad rampage eating random things, then died from rabid-ness.

That evening they held another knitting rave. Then exited the arena.

Peach and Pit had a vicious pillow-fight of all doom, Pit accidentally chopped Peach's torso from her body "OUCH LOL." Peach stated.

She lived.

Link ripped off his robot arm and beat Peach, "There, now your dead!"

"Aww, thanks!" Peach stated. She still lived, but secretly pretended she was dead, holding back her giggles.

"NOES SHE R DED." Pit said.

"O YA?" Link said, holding up Peach, he put strings on her arms and strapped her back to a pole to hold her up. Her head fell off.

She still giggled/stated though.

"AAAAAHH!1 AAH! AHHHAAHHHH!1 AHAGSAHAH!1!wonwononewonwonwon!11" the two screamed at once and ran out of the room.

She still giggled/stated though.

And then there was only eight; Peach doesn't count 'cause she's still pretending.

----------

NUUUEEEES WHO WILL BE THE LAST ONE TO LIVE?

But does this mean Peach will be the last one to live because she's only pretending to be dead yet not going to be in the rest of the story?

WHO CAREZ! Or do you? (st00pid joke...)

REVIEW PLZ LOL!


	10. 10 NUEZ tacos suck, ending prt 3

Lawl update that's way too soon that's about a story you don't care about.

This last chapter is dedicated to Fargus, anything sexy, and me XOMG?

That sounded Joeban-ish-i-ness, WHY DO I KEEP RIPPING PEOPLE OFF.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And so Pit, Zelda, Link, Kirby, Samus, Mewtwo, Dr. Mario and Ness were the only ones left.

Master Hand flew in from the front door "It's time for our next challenge!1" he screamed in horror and the nine disappeared.

They reappeared in a cave.

"WOW A CAVE!" Ness said with an anime mouth that looks weird, it had been passed down from generation to generation, onto Luigi, and now Ness, but he was over doing it and the mouth rabidly ate Ness and popped.

Suddenly a massive herd of raving apples came charging at them, Master Hand pushed a button on a wall and bars separated them from the raving horrors.

"You all have to out run these, ride a freaky thing, get to an island, and get a treasure chest!" he said and pushed the button.

The raving apples ate him since he forgot to disappear.

They ate Dr' Mario's head and fruit punch gushed out of his neck.

The others ran off screaming in the other direction.

Stone pillars fell over in front of them, the six jumped around them, but Samus tripped and was covered in apples.

They reached a lake in the cavern. Mewtwo used his freaky psychic powers to control a giant black cat swimming in the water.

Everyone jumped on it and told it swim off.

Leaving behind Link and Kirby.

"NUUUUEEEES!1!" they said as waves and waves of apples flooded towards them. The two ran along the shoreline to a steep rock hill.

"UP THEREZ!" Link screamed, popping some apples with his sword.

The cat was right in the middle between the shore and the island.

Link climbed up a bamboo latter conveniently placed next to him, it led to a tiny cliff sticking out of the rock wall. He scrambled up it; there was a single red lever in the center of it.

"OOH HOW PERTY!" Link said pulled it.

Suddenly a massive ghost pirate ship appeared in front of the cat, it smacked into it and floated around unconsciously, they got onto the ship.

Zelda, Mewtwo, and Pit looked around at the old and dusty crap and stuff inside.

Suddenly Phargus, the ghost of the zombie, ran around raving and ate Mewtwo.

Pit took out an O YA? Arrow, he shot it at Phargus who disappeared on impact, scary laughter echoed around and the two got scared and cried and stuff.

The apples raved their way on top of Kirby and devoured him.

"NOOESUSUUUEEEUSSUS!1" Link said, the fruit of horror climbed the latter, Link jumped off into the crystal clear water.

Pit and Zelda got onto the deck of the boat.

"Use the steering thingy!" Zelda said, Pit ran up to it and tried pulling on it.

"It won't move!" Pit said,

"NURD! You must be really weak!" Zelda said, fuming at how 'weak' he was, until her head caught fire.

Zelda died.

Link swam until he hit the boat and floated around unconsciously with the freakishly huge cat.

Pit screamed and swam off to shore.

He climbed up the blue sandy beach of sandiness and horror. Slapping into a treasure chest.

"LOL LIEK WOWZ!" Pit said, he opened it to find gold spray painted chicken nuggets, he bought it though, "ZOMG GOLD NUGGETZ!" he rolled around in the chest, making the top fall down and latch, Pit screamed until the nuggets popped, then hacked his way out with a rabbit.

He was back at his land.

"YAY!" Pit, now Banana the II, stated.

"Huh? WTF. NNUUUUUUUUEEEEEEESSSSZSZSSZSSSSZZZZZZZZZZ!1!1!" Banana stated/screamed while looking at the sky dramatically.

**_The Friggin' End_**

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Huh, so only Peach, Link, and Pit lived, and Pit 'won'.

If you haven't read this fic and just looked at the end to see what I just wrote then: LAWL APPLES :P.

OH EL OH EYE MAID AY PHUNNII.

Please review/flame/yo moma joke/whatever.


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